Restless sleep

Last night I had a very restless sleep. My body felt like stone in fire almost. I was starting to wonder let us see if thous damned ants is going to start to to grawl under my skin again. That is how it feels to get a panic attack. It hapens if I get anxious or to worried that i become anxious.
When I woke up first thing that came up in my head was Sam...Sam is not his real name but close enough so we can call him Sam. My friends howevere knows his real aka and also his real name. However I thought of him when i woke up from that restless sleep. I was wondering why I had so restless sleep that nigh and I was wondering...I hope nothing has hapend him. I hope he is ok in America where he has went to reaserch. I try to not think of it but can´t help that after that restless sleep I am a bit worried that something awfull has hapend him. Or is it my hamster that makes me get restles sleep because she is ill and worried about her! I have not got eny vet on the phone this 2 weeks now. I need to find a vet soon. But I am pretty sure of what the outcome will bee. They will recomend to put her to death. If that is the case I wish I had Sam beside me as a suport. I have seen once when they had to put one of my hamsters to death that I had meny years ago. And that was a horrible sight.. A huge nidle was pit under the hamsters skin in his belly. airubles came out from his mouth and nose before he died. It was AWFUL.
I was looking at Sams picture the other day and my heart started to beat fast, screaming his name. I love him so incredible much! And god I miss him so incredible much...